Last Sunday morning as I turned off the road that runs in front of my condo, I suddenly heard a horn blaring at me. Looking in my rear view mirror I saw a man in a big black truck bearing down on me. I didn't know what he was blasting his horn about, he was not that close to me until he purposely got up on my bumper. He was gesturing and mouthing words the way people do when they have road rage. I hadn't seen him coming before I turned. He must have come over the hill pretty fast. Anyway he was really angry at me and he shot me a bird. A bird!!! I haven't been shot a bird in....in.....I can't remember how long. I was shocked. outraged.
Hmm...what to do? I blared my horn back at him. I pressed my breaks and almost came to a complete stop. He didn't hit me. I slowed down to about 25 mph and kept that speed to the next intersection. If he wanted to act like an idiot because he thought I'd slowed him down then I might as well give him something real to complain about. He stayed right on my bumper as we creeped along to the next intersection which is only about a half mile down the road. I kept expecting him to pass me but he didn't.
When we got to the intersection he pulled up beside me and started rolling down his window. I rolled down mine. I had no idea what to expect. Was he going to cuss me out? He kind of laughed nervously in that "I'm not picking a fight but I'm ready for one" kind of way and said "hey that was a red light back there."
I didn't know what I was going to say but I looked him straight in the eye and said firmly in a loud, calm, crystal clear voice........
"I......Apologize"
He rolled his window up and drove on.
What???? Did I just say "I apologize"? Why and for what? I don't know what I expected to hear coming out of my mouth but that wasn't it. But after it was out it seemed like it had been the perfect thing to say.
And then I drove on to church.
Epilogue:
Now when I said "I apologize" it had nothing to do with conscious thought. It was born of pure reflex from an attitude that I take with me to church on Sunday mornings, which is to treat everyone with calm and respect and to behave so that everyone keeps their dignity. It came from years of conditioning almost since birth. I wonder what I would have said to him if I hadn't been going to church. I hope the same thing, but I can't be sure. I don't go to church every day, only on Sundays. But I think that incident motivated me to at least try to behave every day as if I was.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Mistaken Identity
This post was originally written back in October 2007 but was posted on July 8, 2008.
This is a very funny story, but in order to tell it I have to admit something about myself of which I am not proud. I have been internet dating.
I know, I know, everyone's doing it these days. I had decided it just wasn't for me. A few months ago I played in a golf outing with my friend and we were paired up with two great girls, both of whom met their current boyfriends on the internet. So I thought I'd open myself up to the opportunity. Again.
Now I could write a book about some of the initial contacts I get. The latest was "your pretty". That's all it said. Right next to it was a picture of Bubba sitting in a hot tub grinning. I wanted to respond to him, "My pretty what?" I may not get a date but I sure get entertained. I deleted poor Bubba.
Recently I got an email from a nice respectable young man who's probably too young for me but he's smart, a hard worker and somewhat impressive. I thought I would humor him and maybe encourage him a little bit. At the very least I could perhaps build his ego up so he would have confidence for the next girl who might be right for him. So I emailed him back thanks for his interest in me, etc. A few days later I got an email from him. There was my picture beside the email so I know he was looking at it while he was writing. He started out talking about me, complimenting me. Things were going just fine until I got to the next paragraph.
That's when he started telling me he liked the way I had talked about us snuggling (huh?) and cuddling (what??) and cooking dinner (me???) together on New Year's Eve. I barely cook on regular days, much less holidays.
I stopped reading.....What???
I read it again. It got more descriptive. More physical. More graphic.
I would NEVER talk that way with a man after one email!! I wouldn't talk that way after one date! He was responding to some other girl's email smack dab in the middle of mine! And it wasn't just a brief mention of what she'd said. There was a long paragraph dedicated to her suggestions of what she'd like to be doing with him on New Year's Eve. I don't know what she said but he liked it and I could tell he was very excited about it. To his credit he seemed to have enough sense to be a little cautious about a woman who was being so forward, but you could tell he was also very optimistic.
After I got over my initial shock all I could think was, "hmmm......Is THIS how women get men interested? Talk about physical stuff right away??" And then I had to laugh at myself. Here I was reading this email to another girl and I was taking a lesson from it. I guess it might have hurt if I had been dating the guy for a while, but under the circumstances I thought it was funny.
I wrote him back. I told him I didn't know who he was talking to but she must have written one heck of an email. I never heard from him again but I'm flattered he liked my face so much that he accidentally stuck someone else's personality into it.
This is a very funny story, but in order to tell it I have to admit something about myself of which I am not proud. I have been internet dating.
I know, I know, everyone's doing it these days. I had decided it just wasn't for me. A few months ago I played in a golf outing with my friend and we were paired up with two great girls, both of whom met their current boyfriends on the internet. So I thought I'd open myself up to the opportunity. Again.
Now I could write a book about some of the initial contacts I get. The latest was "your pretty". That's all it said. Right next to it was a picture of Bubba sitting in a hot tub grinning. I wanted to respond to him, "My pretty what?" I may not get a date but I sure get entertained. I deleted poor Bubba.
Recently I got an email from a nice respectable young man who's probably too young for me but he's smart, a hard worker and somewhat impressive. I thought I would humor him and maybe encourage him a little bit. At the very least I could perhaps build his ego up so he would have confidence for the next girl who might be right for him. So I emailed him back thanks for his interest in me, etc. A few days later I got an email from him. There was my picture beside the email so I know he was looking at it while he was writing. He started out talking about me, complimenting me. Things were going just fine until I got to the next paragraph.
That's when he started telling me he liked the way I had talked about us snuggling (huh?) and cuddling (what??) and cooking dinner (me???) together on New Year's Eve. I barely cook on regular days, much less holidays.
I stopped reading.....What???
I read it again. It got more descriptive. More physical. More graphic.
I would NEVER talk that way with a man after one email!! I wouldn't talk that way after one date! He was responding to some other girl's email smack dab in the middle of mine! And it wasn't just a brief mention of what she'd said. There was a long paragraph dedicated to her suggestions of what she'd like to be doing with him on New Year's Eve. I don't know what she said but he liked it and I could tell he was very excited about it. To his credit he seemed to have enough sense to be a little cautious about a woman who was being so forward, but you could tell he was also very optimistic.
After I got over my initial shock all I could think was, "hmmm......Is THIS how women get men interested? Talk about physical stuff right away??" And then I had to laugh at myself. Here I was reading this email to another girl and I was taking a lesson from it. I guess it might have hurt if I had been dating the guy for a while, but under the circumstances I thought it was funny.
I wrote him back. I told him I didn't know who he was talking to but she must have written one heck of an email. I never heard from him again but I'm flattered he liked my face so much that he accidentally stuck someone else's personality into it.
Stickers and Gold Stars
Last night I graduated from Dale Carnegie class. It's been a long 12 weeks. I've been travelling back and forth 800 miles a week to North Platte for work and then attending this class on Tuesday night from 6-9:30. I am exhausted.
Part of my exhaustion is my own fault. I like to go out with the group on Tuesday nights after class. There's 19 people in the class and 8 to 10 of us will go out afterward. It's fun. And after spending the week alone in the wilderness of North Platte, our weekly post-class get togethers have been nourishment for my soul. Heck, the actual class has been pretty good for my soul too.
A few weeks ago, as part of an excercise on showing appreciation the class was asked to write down something we admire about each person on a sticker. On the last day of class we each got a sheet of paper filled with stickers of all the nice things people had to say about us. I told you this class feeds my soul. Here's what was on my stickers....
I admire your honesty and sincerity........coffee guy
Smart, Passionate, and Creative.........hearty humor guy
You are a VERY SMART, CARING person. You will go far & achieve anything. I can't say enough good!.......happy grocery girl
Professional & excellent manager; kind & sincere. Very driven and courage radiates from you. You are a star! ........ most popular girl
Smart. Makes the best of everything. Encouraging..........restaurant papa
You are strong, confident, and willing to take constructive criticism the right way. You inspire me.......department store "go getter" gal
I admire you for your heart and your ability to talk about things very personal to you.......Big teddy bear
A kind soul. Kind & friendly. Always looking for ways to better herself, and (my favorite) Goes with the flow......grocery gas cheerleader guy
A very sweet & inspirational person. Strong & very open with her emotions......... strong silent type
I admire your values and determination........big farm boy
Strong Presentation......game show host
You're very gentle with people and as a result they truly enjoy you as a person. ......George Clooney clone (this one's my favorite cuz I do try to be gentle with people but I feel like no one notices )
Very professional with all the best qualities of a manager blooming ........tall farm boy
Great personality and genuinely interested in others........hot rod mama
Genuine interest in others, hard worker, intelligent.........cheerleader girl
Very approachable and friendly. A positive person! Shows genuine interest in others! ........the chief
They are like signatures in a high school yearbook, aren't they? Ok, I know we were told to write nice things, but I still like reading them. I really enjoyed the class because of the people. Truth be told, the whole thing did start to feel like high school after a while, especially when we voted for outstanding performers in every single class. It felt like high school all over again and I started to hate going. The same girl kept winning everything and you can't help but like her cause she's so darned nice and she does work hard for it so she deserves to win. I felt the same frustration of wanting everyone to feel loved and part of the group and watched as they created their own hierarchy that kept them out. And, just like in high school, all the popular kids loved me, but I stayed just on the fringe, frustrated for the underdogs and never quite feeling comfortable being part of the "in-crowd" as long as there was anyone left behind.
Part of my exhaustion is my own fault. I like to go out with the group on Tuesday nights after class. There's 19 people in the class and 8 to 10 of us will go out afterward. It's fun. And after spending the week alone in the wilderness of North Platte, our weekly post-class get togethers have been nourishment for my soul. Heck, the actual class has been pretty good for my soul too.
A few weeks ago, as part of an excercise on showing appreciation the class was asked to write down something we admire about each person on a sticker. On the last day of class we each got a sheet of paper filled with stickers of all the nice things people had to say about us. I told you this class feeds my soul. Here's what was on my stickers....
I admire your honesty and sincerity........coffee guy
Smart, Passionate, and Creative.........hearty humor guy
You are a VERY SMART, CARING person. You will go far & achieve anything. I can't say enough good!.......happy grocery girl
Professional & excellent manager; kind & sincere. Very driven and courage radiates from you. You are a star! ........ most popular girl
Smart. Makes the best of everything. Encouraging..........restaurant papa
You are strong, confident, and willing to take constructive criticism the right way. You inspire me.......department store "go getter" gal
I admire you for your heart and your ability to talk about things very personal to you.......Big teddy bear
A kind soul. Kind & friendly. Always looking for ways to better herself, and (my favorite) Goes with the flow......grocery gas cheerleader guy
A very sweet & inspirational person. Strong & very open with her emotions......... strong silent type
I admire your values and determination........big farm boy
Strong Presentation......game show host
You're very gentle with people and as a result they truly enjoy you as a person. ......George Clooney clone (this one's my favorite cuz I do try to be gentle with people but I feel like no one notices )
Very professional with all the best qualities of a manager blooming ........tall farm boy
Great personality and genuinely interested in others........hot rod mama
Genuine interest in others, hard worker, intelligent.........cheerleader girl
Very approachable and friendly. A positive person! Shows genuine interest in others! ........the chief
They are like signatures in a high school yearbook, aren't they? Ok, I know we were told to write nice things, but I still like reading them. I really enjoyed the class because of the people. Truth be told, the whole thing did start to feel like high school after a while, especially when we voted for outstanding performers in every single class. It felt like high school all over again and I started to hate going. The same girl kept winning everything and you can't help but like her cause she's so darned nice and she does work hard for it so she deserves to win. I felt the same frustration of wanting everyone to feel loved and part of the group and watched as they created their own hierarchy that kept them out. And, just like in high school, all the popular kids loved me, but I stayed just on the fringe, frustrated for the underdogs and never quite feeling comfortable being part of the "in-crowd" as long as there was anyone left behind.
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