I once had someone tell me that I am different in my emails and on the phone than I am in person. In other words I am, in his opinion, different in print than I am in person. No offense to my friend but this is utter and complete hogwash. I am exactly the same no matter what context you find me and anyone who knows me for any length of time knows this. Nevertheless, I respected his opinion. That was a year and a half ago and I've been pondering it ever since.
So if I'm not different then what is it that made him think so? What was different about me in person that wasn't coming through in print? The answer finally came to me today. The one factor that changed from one medium (print) to the next medium (face-to-face) was........him.
I remember once writing to him after he criticized me about something that it seemed to me that all of the things he was complaining about were my reactions to him or qualities that he brought out in me. It wasn't me he didn't like, it was the effect he was having on me. When I write, it is pure, but when we interacted his presence was affecting the message.
The odd thing is that this was not the first time this had happened. I had an ex-boyfriend who did the same thing, complimenting my character but criticizing me constantly whenever I was with him. He told me that if he ever had a daughter he wanted her to be just like me. "If you did" I asked, "would you want her to date a guy just like you?" You should have seen the look on his face.
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